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Reading With Sea

A book club on your own time

Good Saturday to you all.  Last night I finished The Year of Wishful Thinking by Joan Didion.  It was a quicker read than I had anticipated and I enjoyed the novel immensely, though still not as much as I had thought I would.  Despite its brilliantly exposed emotions and disheveled reality, I found it hard to be able to say that I ‘love’ a novel in which one was so encompassing stricken with grief.  At the closing of this novel I found myself not wanting to rave about it to all, but wanting to quietly promise the author that I couldn’t possibly understand all that she went through, but that I would sit in it silently with her.  I have never had quite that intimate of a feeling after reading a book before.  I found myself wanting to tell Joan Didion, that it is never going to be “ok”, but that she will make it and not because she is cool, but because she has something that a lot of us search for through life.  I wanted to share a few quotes from the book with you that I wrote down in my reading journal.

“I remember thinking that I needed to discuss this with John.  There was nothing I did not discuss with John.”

“I needed to be alone so that he could come back.”

“How far had I absented myself from the world of normal response?”

The Year of Wishful Thinking captures a marriage that I found to be a very hopeful depiction and a year of immense grief.  I found this novel to be open, raw, and astonishingly honest.  I do not think I knew how it had affected me until I began to write to you about it.

I do not know what is next…yesterday, I had picked out a couple of next reading options, but today I do not feel good about reading one of those two yesterday options, at least not next.  I feel caught in this struggling between the attempt to find something to read that I know I will absolutely love or to read for the numbers.  Each month I find myself under this same mental exertion.  Do I read maybe one or two books that I know will take me a longer time to read because when I love, I read slower or do I read for the numbers?  Do I read as many books as I can during the month so that I can add to the overall tally?  As I am writing this to you, I keep looking back over my shoulder at Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.  I re-read Atlas Shrugged a few months ago and fell head over heals for it. I know that I very much want to read Fountainhead, but I know this will take me a while because Ayn Rand’s books are so incredible dense.  She acts like  Tolkien and creates entire worlds from the ground up.

It all boils down to this:  I do not know what to read next.

I updated the Book Raffle page yesterday by taking down the books that no one voted for last month and I kept the ones that received at least one comment.  I added two new books and I am waiting to hear from you to add more.  Also, there has been a third and final book added to March’s calendar: American Rust by Philipp Meyer.  That means our group will be reading 3 books in March, but this does not mean that you have to read all 3.  Each month you can either select one or more or all of the reads for the month to participate in.  I will post more about the structure later this weekend.

Talk back at me and read on,
Sea

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