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Reading With Sea

A book club on your own time

[To W. D. Snodgrass]

“Sweet Snodsy,

Yes I forgive you always for not writing.  So don’t worry.  I accept you the way you are.  You are special enough to take the way you are (silent or noisy)… my good dear Snodsy.  I knew of course that things would be bad so I wrote as a note of simple love.  No more, no less […]

You said “forgive me for griping in this letter”… Jesus! What have we got each other for if not to gripe.  I have nothing but gripes.  I seem to be much sicker lately and it is really throwing me.  I wish I had the money for a real analysis.  I have been going on this three times a week basis for over 4 years.  Shit!  That’s all I can say.  Just shit.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life anymore.  What a mess.

Don’t worry about reading my book.  You’ll get around to it sometime.  I hope you’ll like it when you do.  I live in horrors of doubt about it … waiting for the lousy reviews.  None lousy yet – so far anyhow.  In your same issue of Hudson (crime and punish) Louis Simpson did a review of my book (the last book reviewed – and he liked it quite a lot.  And I had a good one in The New York Times … a long one there.  But then … more will come … time will tell.  And there is no guarantee that the reviews mean anything anyhow.  But you know yourself that you can’t stop caring.

Maxine’s book comes out next year (’61) and she is up for the Lamont.  I tell her it won’t matter, but she is like you were – she wants it.  At least I didn’t go through that … I didn’t try for it … my publisher’s decission.  Note that I can’t spell anything today as I am feeling rather crazy.  Only poetry saves me (and by poetry I don’t mean getting famous but the writing of it) … I am in the middle of work or attempted work and interrupt it to write you a note, to your unknown address, to a known human, Snodsy whom I love.

We bought Linda a 2 wheeler bike for her 7th birthday.  She is thriving and can swim and dive and all that.  She is not as shy as she was … Joy is the same, a little buzz of life and love.  Linda can read.  I wrote her a children’s story which she loves but that won’t sell.  I haven’t made any money in ages!  Are you going to try for the Guggy this year?  If you don’t I’d like to use you to recommend me.  Is that possible?  If not don’t worry … there are all sorts of people who like the book now … Don’t worry about not writing me or reading the book.  I’d rather have you write me than read the the book if you’re ever faced with the choice.

All best love to you and Jan
and all your emotional hotel,
Dear de,
love from Anne “

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